How Do You Love Yourself?

This question can be looked at two ways and are both relevant in learning to love yourself. How do you love yourself (as in learn to)? And also How do you love yourself? as in what do you do everyday that shows you that you get how great you are?

Firstly, let me ask you, how would you feel if everyday some one turned round to you and said “I’m too busy with too many other far more important things than to bother with your needs right now. Everything and everyone else is far more important to me than you are, and I care about their opinion of me more than yours, so I’ll get round to you when it’s more convenient?”

Or

“So you’re unwell! What about all the things that I need to get done? Get over yourself and get on and help me there isn’t any one else to do the work.”

Or

“Your fat, you’re not very bright, you don’t deserve……. my kindness, my compassion, my love”

You may well be thinking that you wouldn’t put up with some or better still any of it. So……why do you allow you to speak to yourself like that? Because every time you keep going when you are feeling so tired, you drag yourself out of your sick bed when you feel like death warmed up or you start to mentally run yourself down when you failed to come up to your own standards, you are damaging your self-esteem more than any one else ever could if they uttered those words.

You are the example of how others should love you. They will follow your lead, if they hear you running yourself down they assume that that’s what passes for fun for you so they join in to. If you keep putting upon yourself they assume that that’s because you’re ok with it and obviously have energy that you need to burn, so they follow your lead and put upon you. If you show up somewhere from your sick bed, that you must be feeling better and are available for them to put upon you and at the same time tease you about your fat thighs in the process.

Start to treat yourself as your own best friend. Think about someone that you love and care for and what you would do for them if they were tired, miserable, hurt, unwell and then start doing that for yourself.

If you feel tired tell yourself to take a load of for 5 minutes, because you deserve it.

If you feel unwell check in with yourself like you would a loved one (one of your kids may be) speak to yourself kindly and do what you need to do so that you get better. As much as you may like to think it would, the world is not going to end if you are too unwell to show up in your life for a day, however, your bod and your self-esteem will both take a pasting if you push yourself to do something that you really aren’t up to.

If you hear yourself running you down, tell yourself to stop it as you would if you heard someone bullying someone you care about. You don’t take put downs from anyone, even if it does happen to be yourself.

It’s about the little things, it’s the little acts of kindness that you show yourself each and every day.

So there you have it, some basic suggestions for starters. They may seem small and obvious but love is about the small and obvious every day instead of the big grand gestures that appear once in a blue moon.

Have a good one

Dxxx