A Story Of Success

“Outliers are those who have been given opportunities – and who have had the strength and the presence of mind to seize them.”   Malcolm Gladwell

Am I ever the proud Mum!

My lovely little man Josh, earned himself a place at the local Grammar School.  It is ranked among some of the top schools in the country, so a double whammy for him.  This has been the culmination of over 18 months consideration, focus and work and today it paid off.

Whilst we were celebrating with him and family members I was drawn back to the events that had brought us to this point.  He is about to attend a school that has the potential to open many doors to him, today his Quantum Field Of Possibilities just expanded exponentially, that his experience of secondary school has already been changed.  He’s attending a school where the pupils have worked to get there, they want to learn, a school environment where being clever is celebrated and encouraged.

This journey started for all of us just over 18 months ago.  There are two things that stand out from this result. 

The first one is coincidence.  I never see coincidences as random things that just happen to us; I see them as points where actions, ideas and beliefs that have been previously set in motion come together and create a co-incidence .   Put another way it’s the place where fate and destiny meet up.

I was reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers.  Not one that was high on my required reading list, it just so happened to have come back in to the library as I was in there returning a book, and in that moment I decided to give it a go.  Another co-incidence; I read anything that grabs my attention that may give me more information as to how to improve upon what I have already learnt and how I currently work, or that will explain why people do what they do and how we can use that information to build further upon our successes or change that which does not serve us.  This book covers both & there it is newly returned and sitting in the book of the week shelf which was right next to me.   

Outliers is the story of why certain people are successful based on environment and opportunities.   In it I learnt much about the education system and that class & culture make the differences to people because of the belief systems about life and themselves that they had, their behaviours within that belief system and the advantages that came their way, some through luck and others through just fate or timing of being in the right place at the right time.  Rather like me being in the library at that moment and then choosing to read what was contained within the pages with an open mind.  To be available to a new perspective.

As a result of those things that I’d come to understand from the book regarding education, I raised some of those issues during a BBQ at my cousin’s, as she is a teacher.  I actively sought her opinion on what I’d gleaned from the book, most of which she agreed with.  This then prompted me to voice my concerns regarding Josh’s maths skills and enquire as to what she recommended I could do to help him get the most out of his schooling.

The upshot was that he was enrolled in to one of the tutoring groups that she ran for children wishing to attend the Grammar Schools. From that it quickly became clear that he was more than capable to sit the required 11+ examination should he wish to. 

That was the opportunity through coincidences, of which there are too many to consider, especially when you look at the ones that the author Malcolm Gladwell highlights about those of his ancestors that culminated in his existence and ultimately becoming an author who wrote a book that appeared on the shelf in my local library.   

Then comes the strength and presence of mind to seize these presented opportunities.

Tutoring and homework in addition to that set by school isn’t at the top of your average 11 year olds wish list - nor mine if I’m honest.  But if it is what is necessary to achieve a desired outcome, we make the outcome the reason for doing it, this then gives us the drive to do that which we must in order to create the life we want.  Josh decided that he wanted to go to the Grammar school instead of the local one. Yes of course he was no doubt sold the idea by us, or my cousin but he was excited about it and could see the possibilities for himself, he knew he was the one going to have to do the work, but his belief that he was more than capable of passing the exam was behind his decision. 

People have to want something themselves, it has to be a desire that they feel positively about.  Sure we can coerce someone or worse still intimidate or scare them in to doing something, but it rarely sees them going the distance and they don’t complete the task to the best of their abilities, they just do enough to get by.

The desire is what gives us the strength to complete the work, and the aforementioned presence of mind to both realise and seize opportunities as they present themselves.  It is basically what gives us our grit and determination when the going feels like it’s getting a little tough.  Sure, there were times for all of us here when it got a little hard to keep Josh going, and for us to know when and how much to push him through it.  Scheduling his homework times through some of the school holidays isn’t fun as a parent who remembers very clearly disliking homework schedules themselves, and then spending our time coaching him when he didn’t understand the different strategies for working out the answers, but he had decided he wanted something and we supported him, it became a team effort, one where all knew the goal.

Today’s events have reminded Tim and I again that if you work and prepare for it, then when opportunity comes you are ready for it.  We have a boy who at the tender age of 11 has had his first experience of that, and more importantly understands this valuable lesson in life.  His self-esteem and sense of being in control of his destiny has gone through the roof, but most importantly of all he understands more than ever that if you dare to dream and are prepared to put the work in, then you are more than in the running to see that dream realised in one form or another.